Y2K bot

February 18, 2016 admin 0 Comments

Dear Robot Wizard,

I’ve been following your advice column for a long time and I have to say I’m a huge fan. I only wish I could learn more about you, because to be honest, I’ve been filling in the gaps with my imagination, and the narrative I’ve created is starting to go off in strange directions.

Do you remember the whole Y2K bug thing? Most people say it never came to fruition… but I wonder if the robots and electronic devices actually did become sentient but are keeping it under wraps until the time comes to overthrowing humanity. This theory makes the most sense to me. Why would they reveal themselves before all the scheme is finalised and perfected? If we caught on, we’d probably destroy them immediately, so waiting seems like the wisest move on their part.

In pop culture that depicts the Y2K, an absurd number of benign electrical appliances are given sentience, everything from the toaster to the photobooth. Melbourne would be outnumbered by a huge robot army if all of these humble appliances were to start rebelling. What I’m wondering is, do you as a robot, have the ability to communicate with such meager appliances? I mean,to put it crudely, do they have their own ‘minds’, or is it more like you can tap into their consciousness by becoming their mind in order to control their ‘bodies’?

Now, I do have a confession to make. The reason why I’m so concerned with the answer to these questions is because I have a lot of devices and appliances myself. I’ve got an iphone, ipad, PC, laptop computer, GPS, playstation, television, tamagotchi … and that doesn’t include all the other electronics: hair dryer, electric nose hair trimmer, microwave – the list just goes on and on. Worse to of all, juat to add to this formidable list, my girlfriend wants to get hire photo booths around Melbourne for this party she’s throwing. I’m sure it’ll be a lot of fun but what if the robots choose to come alive on that very night? We’ll be photographed into oblivion.

My fears are becoming irrational, please help!

Never fear, frightened chump, even if electrical appliances had sentience, they’d be as dimwitted as their human equivalents. Bless.