Glazier Ritual

March 30, 2021 admin 0 Comments

Have you ever wanted something so much that you would do literally anything for it? That’s how I feel about cake. I wanted cake so badly that I accidentally ruined my friend’s ritual where he has to fix a bunch of glass balustrades in order to prevent some monster from returning to Earth. Of course, had I known there was a ritual at all, I would have made an effort to not ruin it.

Basically, this all started when Roy and I both had a craving for chocolate cake because we were working at a snack bar. We tried going to the shops to buy a cake, but they are so expensive. Who has the time or the money to make their own cake with $5 ingredients? Certainly not us. So we asked around to see if it’s anyone’s birthday today. Turns out, it is Sam’s birthday today, but he’s always too busy with his side job of providing the best glass balustrade repair Melbourne has to offer and never celebrates his birthday.

Roy and I convinced our boss that we needed to throw Sam a party because he’s such a hard worker and really deserves it. Billy, our boss, agreed and told us to go buy a nice big chocolate cake, then convince Sam to come to the surprise party. We got the cake, managed to resist eating it and found Sam at his next glazier job.

The thing was, Sam refused to come with us. He said he was too busy trying to be the best glazier Melbourne has ever seen. We weren’t putting up with any of that, so we knocked Sam out and started dragging him back to the party. Halfway, though, he woke up and called us complete fools, as we’d ruined his yearly birthday ritual.

So yeah, now this big monster is headed to Earth to destroy us, just because Roy and I wanted a chocolate cake. Not exactly ideal.

– Matthew