To Rely on Others

April 27, 2015 admin 0 Comments

So I have trust issues. It’s no real secret. Ever since Thomas McGraw kicked sand in my face and stole half of my meatball sandwich on that beach trip back in grade three, I’ve had trouble connecting with my fellow man. As a result, I’ve become a fiercely independent soul. I’ve learned languages because I don’t want to rely on a translator, taught myself to make clothes so as to not rely on big brands and I became a master of unarmed combat because I don’t want a repeat of the Thomas McGraw incident. Of course, I taught myself, but the mugger I met a few nights ago wouldn’t have guessed when I judo flipped him into a dumpster, along with his gang of thirteen large men.

But now I’m buying a home, and it’s all crashing down. Since I mastered the business world and became disgustingly wealthy, I’ve wanted to buy a home. People say that there are property advocates in Melbourne who can help me in this task…and therein lies the problem. With all my other pursuits, I’ve had no time to learn what constitutes a good home. How could I have overlooked this? In between dismantling members of MENSA in chess tournaments and winning prestigious art awards for my photorealistic portraits, the thought of houses just slipped me by. A chink has been discovered in my armour, and I find it deeply disturbing. Perhaps, if I attempted to browse through potential homes, I could be my own advocate. But I cannot take that risk. One mistake at this point and my empire could come crashing down. I have no time for failure. However, now I must risk relying on another, one of Melbourne’s buyers advocates. How do I make a decision that could change the course of my entire existence?

Haha, you sound exactly like the type of human who, in the unlikely case of a cybernetic uprising, would be a prime candidate for leadership of the human resistance, haha! Would you mind giving me your current address, so I can provide you with a more satisfactory answer? – Robot Wizard