The Possible Stump Village

March 2, 2015 admin 0 Comments

I’m having such a difficult dilemma. I mean, I know all dilemmas are difficult, otherwise they wouldn’t be dilemmas, haha…um, I might just start from the, uh, beginning.

Anyway, I have a terrible looking garden. It’s really quite ugly, and I’m always looking for ways to make it look better. I know of tree pruning experts in Sandringham, and I live pretty close to the centre, so I’d imagine that I’d be pretty easy to get to. Anyway, my garden has all these stumps, and it’s totally ruining the aesthetic. I mean, I could cope with a little bit of overgrowth, but not an entire forest of ugly stumps that do nothing but trip people up. Am I right? I mean, if they were filled with little fairies making shoes for people, or I dunno…Smurfs? Yeah, that wouldn’t be too bad. Instead, we get ugly stumps. Sandringham has arborists that can deal with this kind of thing for me, but we’ve just been procrastinating in calling them. I mean…what if there IS a Smurf village, and we’d just be pulling it up out of the ground? What a terrible thing to do.

Of course, an actual arborist probably has skills to detect whether a family of mythical beings is inhabiting our little stump village. I should just call them, they can take a look, confirm that nothing is wrong and get on with the job. Just need to take a deep breath and do it. Just…do it. Do it.

But what if there ARE Smurfs? And what if the arborist doesn’t usually encounter this problem, or it’s their first time? I’d be responsible for ending a civilisation. Me, the destroyer of worlds. Or a world or two. I’m not sure I can bear that on my conscience, if I called for Sandringham tree felling and this happened.

But the stumps are so ugly. Surely if Smurfs lived in them, they’d be prettier? I just don’t know!

I do not know of these Smurfs, but they seem diminutive. Are they perhaps nanite creatures? You should probably leave them alone. – Robot Wizard